Weird Things People Have Been Arrested For
Guess
next time he’ll wait for Christmas morning
Let’s
be honest, at one point or another, those of us who celebrate Christmas have
probably snooped for presents or shaken gift boxes to try to get a hint of
what’s inside or begged our parents to let us open a present early. And then
there are some folks like one 12-year-old South Carolina boy who had the
audacity to open a present early, finding a Gameboy inside and, at the same
time, earning the ire of his mom. By the way, she promptly called the cops on
him.
Yes,
you read that right. The boy’s 27 year old mother phoned the police after the
kid opened the present without her permission, and they actually arrested him
for petty larceny. The best (worst?) part is, his mom actually wanted him to
get arrested. There was no “sorry officer, this is just a big misunderstanding”
coming out of her. Nope, she actually wanted the cops to teach him a lesson. So
in the future, screw trying to be good for Santa. Now you’ve got to worry about
the fuzz, too.
He
must have eaten at Taco Bell for lunch
Of
course, opening presents is one thing. But can you imagine getting arrested for
having bodily functions? I’m not talking about relieving your bladder in a
parking garage or taking a dump on the steps of City Hall. No, I’m talking
about farting. Next time you eat Mexican food you may want to reconsider,
because apparently farting can get you busted.
Such
was the case for a 13 year old boy from Florida who found himself slapped in
handcuffs after dropping a few bombs in class. Or, as the cops called it,
“disrupting a school function.” All I can say is that he must have had some
really brutal gas. And, in addition, we’re just glad that there were no cops
prowling around the classrooms while we were in school, because most of us
would likely still be doing a stretch.
Maybe
he should think about changing his name
It
must really suck to be named Michael Terry. Oh sure, it doesn’t sound like a
bad name, really. In fact, it’s pretty run of the mill. For one particular
Michael Terry, maybe that’s the source of the problem. This particular Michael
Terry was a 37 year old from New York City who found himself in jail for 28
days… for having the same name as a guy who was a wanted fugitive. Oops. Turns
out that the NYPD arrested this Michael Terry for crimes committed by a
different Michael Terry and kept him locked up for nearly a month until they
realized their mistake, and subsequently awarded him $120,000 in grievances.
And
then they arrested him again. For the exact same reason. Yes, it seems that
some other cops also figured that there could only be one black guy named
Michael Terry, and they strip searched him and tossed him back in the slammer
for five more days before, once again, realizing their mistake. Let’s just
cross our fingers that this guy never gets pulled over for speeding, because
odds are the NYPD will view it as a third strike and lock him up for good.
He
should stick to basketball
Recently,
much of the northeastern part of America, stretching down to Maryland and
Virginia, was blanketed with record snowfall. The “Snowpocalypse” as some
called it. Naturally, in some of the places where snow is not quite so common,
such as certain areas of Virginia, people of all ages reveled in the white
powdery stuff (snow, not cocaine… keep up, genius) and made snowmen, snow
angels, and engaged in snowball fights. They might have thought twice about
that last one if they’d know it could lead to being arrested.
Did
you realize that, apparently, throwing snowballs can get you slapped in
handcuffs? Neither did Ryan Knight, a point guard on the James Madison
University basketball team. But when the snow hit, Knight and his friends went
out and started throwing snowballs. Now we should point out they were throwing
them (playfully) at snow plows and passing cars. It just so happened that one
of those cars was an unmarked police car, and apparently the cop driving it had
a great distaste for harmless fun, arresting Knight and a friend on the spot.
The charge? “Throwing a missile at an occupied vehicle.” I don’t even have a
joke for that, especially since the pair face up to five years in prison if
convicted. So next time you’re out frolicking in the snow, just remember:
frolicking is seriously frowned upon in some parts of the US.
Granny
hates two-hand touch
Raise
your hand if you’ve ever tossed a baseball , football or Frisbee or kicked
around a soccer ball with some friends, and it’s gone into someone else’s yard.
Usually that’s kind of a no-harm, no-foul thing, right? Sure, every once in
awhile you’ll run into some crotchety old hag who, being on the receiving end
of some unwanted ball action, will pick it up and not give it back. You know,
because she’s a crotchety old hag. Well Edna Jester is just such a hag. Only
she probably figured she wouldn’t get arrested for it.
But
that’s precisely what happened when, completely fed up with having to chase
down the ball over and over for her teenage neighbors when it landed in her
yard, the 88-year-old grandmother finally refused to give it back. See, her
young neighbors would often toss the ball around and it would come flying into
her yard while she was eating dinner or reading the Bible (we’re not making
that part up), and she was just sick and tired of having to chase the ball down
or having the kids come onto her property to retrieve it themselves. So when
she just decided to keep it to stop them from bugging her in the future. The
cops showed up and threatened to arrest her if she didn’t give it back. So did
she? Let’s just say that by the time she went to trial, the ball was still in
her house.
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